Feel Inferior to Others? 8 Signs of an Inferiority Complex

 

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

What really is an inferiority complex? And do you have one?

On this page, I’ll reveal several little-known symptoms of an inferiority complex, so you can test and see if you have this deep-seated problem.

Along the way, I’ll also give you some practical tips and insights for how to overcome the feeling of inferiority.

Where Inferiority Comes From

When you were a baby, you were inferior. I know that sounds weird, yet think about it.

A baby can’t even stay alive on its own. It’s completely dependent on adults for survival. And as you grew from a baby into a child, you were still surrounded by older people who were more strong, capable and powerful than you.

The famous psychologist Alfred Adler said that feeling inferior is often a healthy motivation. 

When you receive criticism or see someone do something better than you, this can drive you to eliminate your weaknesses. You’re motivated to become more powerful in the world so you don’t feel inferior anymore. Feeling inferior makes you learn from the superior people around you. You develop yourself, and eventually become one of these confident adults yourself.

However, some people feel such a strong feeling of inferiority that it stops being healthy or useful. This is what Adler called an “inferiority complex.” 

Instead of motivating you, an inferiority complex paralyzes you. It can result in extreme shyness or social anxiety, feeling worthless, and the desire to prevent failure through not trying.

So that’s the difference between feeling inferior and an inferiority complex. Feeling inferior sometimes can actually help you improve yourself and your life. But an inferiority complex usually means you feel incomplete, unworthy and unacceptable as a person no matter what you do, achieve or fix about yourself.

Two Main Types of Inferiority

In the people I’ve studied and worked with, I’ve noticed a common pattern. People who feel inferior generally fall into one of 2 categories:

People who “know” they’re actually smart, good looking, successful, etc… but still feel inferior. It’s like a mysterious feeling that they aren’t good enough that they know isn’t based on anything real or solid.

If this is you, then people around you may say “You’re so pretty/smart/etc… I don’t understand why you’re so shy/afraid/sad/etc” Well you don’t understand it either, you just feel this way: “I recognize that I’m beautiful, but I still feel ugly.”

People who “know” they’re ugly, dumb, boring, failures, etc… and their flaws make them feel unable to get the affection, support and friendship of others.

If this is you, then you probably feel that if you were only really good looking, tall, successful, or whatever else… then many of your problems would be instantly solved and you would feel great about yourself.

Here’s a quick test: How would you complete this sentence? “I would be confident, happy and attractive if I was only…”

Which one do you fit into better? #1 or #2?

The main difference between the two types is that type #1 seems to have a feeling that is unrealistic, while type #2 believes the feeling is caused by actual flaws they have.

Whichever type you are, you’ve probably been stuck with this problem for most or all of your life.

And here are a few of the ways in which an inferiority complex can reveal itself in your day to day life:

1. Being Ultra-Sensitive

When you feel inferior, any small critical comment can often send you into a spiral of depression and self-hate for days. Any slight sign of rejection or exclusion will make you feel totally miserable.

You wish you could just somehow “stop caring what people think” and “not give a fuck”… but it’s not that simple.

Unfortunately, most of the advice you may have read for how to be less sensitive probably tried to give you a rational argument for why you shouldn’t feel bad like: “Their opinion doesn’t really make an impact on your life.” In my experience, this type of advice doesn’t help, because you cannot reason your way out of a feeling you did not reason yourself into in the first place.

How to Actually Stop Caring:

Actually the solution to being sensitive to what people think is NOT to care less… but to care more about what you think of yourself. The people who seem to “not care” the most are actually just firmly rooted in their own values.

Values (definition):

A person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.

You stop caring so much about other people’s judgements when your own sense of judgement becomes stronger. (This is an extremely important point, and unfortunately something I can’t explain properly in this short article.)

Women often say a man who “knows who he is” is attractive. I never knew what that meant, until I realized they like a guy who is rooted in his own value system.

Meaning he knows what is important to HIM in life, and he’s not constantly changing or bending himself depending on who is around.

2. Always Comparing Yourself to Another Person’s #1 Winning Quality

Comparison causes the feeling of inferiority or superiority. That’s obvious. Now let’s look at the problem closer:

Why is everybody always better than you?

It’s because you focus on their one BEST quality and then compare yourself to that. Reality check: It’s unavoidable that most people are going to be better than you at the #1 thing they spend the most time practicing or have a natural talent for.

Joe spends 6 days a week in the gym, so he has a better body than you.

Suzy spends her days endlessly chatting on Facebook messenger and parties every weekend, so she has a larger social circle than you.

Bill spends every afternoon studying to please his parents, so he’s at the top of every class.

Then you look at them and you say: “I’m worse than Joe. I’m worse than Suzy. Hell, I’m even worse than that nerd Bill!” and you feel inferior. And you know what?

Yes, it’s true, you’re always going to measure yourself short if you are using a constantly changing ruler. And don’t forget that unusual success in one area usually comes from focus, which means the person you’re comparing yourself to neglects other areas of life.

If you could settle for being the best YOU you can be, it would greatly relieve your inner mental pressure to meet everyone else’s standards.

You are not inferior, you are not superior, you are simply YOU. Your value comes from your uniqueness.

3. Submissive Behavior

In psychology there’s an idea is called “social rank theory.”

This theory says that how you act and feel inside are often determined by what you perceive your social status or rank to be.

So if you FEEL inferior to others, looked down on and low status… then you will start ACTING submissive.

A lot of the behaviors usually called “shyness” could also be labelled “submissiveness”!

Think about how a shy person usually acts:

• Weak eye contact,
• Talking quietly and timidly,
• Being afraid to be assertive.

If a scientist saw a chimpanzee acting this way in the wild, he would label it as… submissive! And that’s where a lot of low social confidence comes from: a deep unconscious belief in other people being superior to you, more deserving of respect and higher social status.

If you can overcome this feeling of inferiority, then you will find it easy to stop acting submissive & shy. I talk a lot about this in my System, in the chapter called “Value & The Social Hierarchy”.

This study explores the associations between shame, depression and social anxiety from the perspective of social rank theory. Social rank theory argues that emotions and moods are significantly influenced by the perceptions of one’s social status/rank; that is the degree to which one feels inferior to others and looked down on. A common outcome of such perceptions is submissive behaviour. […]

Results confirm that shame, social anxiety and depression (but not guilt) are highly related to feeling inferior and to submissive behaviour.

– Study by Paul Gilbert: The Relationship of Shame, Social Anxiety and Depression: The Role of the Evaluation of Social Rank

4. Perfectionism

Inferiority and perfectionism often go together because both are usually rooted in comparison. To a perfectionist, nothing they do is ever good enough.

Let me share with you a story…

There was one 19-year old guy named Paul I knew who wanted to be an artist. Just one problem: he considered himself a perfectionist. And he thought being a perfectionist was good because it would make him try harder to be great at his craft.

But that’s not what usually happens to perfectionists…

Paul would visit online forums and galleries where the best artists of the world showed off their work. And seeing how amazing every one of these artists were, he felt discouraged. There was no way his works would match up to theirs so what was the point?

Paul wanted his first works to be perfect, like the famous artists he admired. Yet his comparison became unhealthy, causing him feel so inferior to his art heroes that he became discouraged from even trying. And for years, he felt scared to even practice doing art because he knew it would not measure up to his expectations. So he was stuck.

Ironically enough… perfectionism usually WORSENS someone’s quality of work.

Yes, it’s true that some people are born with certain natural abilities… but nobody becomes great at what they do through talent alone. This is a big myth in our modern society that is slowly being busted. The author Malcolm Gladwell famously said that it takes 10,000 hours to reach a level of genius or greatness in any field.

And the artists that Paul admired so much were in their 30s, 40s and 50s. They had created years of mediocre art, before making their modern masterpieces.

Which leads me to the next symptom…

5. Procrastination and Inaction

Perfectionism usually leads to procrastination and inaction. Constantly comparing yourself to others and having too high standards for yourself does not make your work better. It’s more like shooting yourself in the foot.

You become so emotionally sensitive to failure that you avoid trying at all. And since it usually takes a million little failures to reach success, you end up trying nothing and accomplishing nothing.

This applies to every area of your life, not just art…

For example, you may avoid meeting new people because you’re afraid of being socially awkward, yet there is no way to become good at conversations except through practice.

So if you can avoid beating yourself up when you do poorly (being perfectionistic), then you will actually develop your social skills much faster.

Always keep this motto in mind:

Sucking at something is the first step at being sort of good at it.

6. Social Media Triggers Feelings of Guilt, Jealousy or Shame

When you see other people living their lives on Facebook, it makes you feel self -doubt and inferiority.

Maybe you’re young and all the people at your college seem to be out socializing and partying.

Maybe you’re older and your friends are starting families, which makes you question if your own life decisions are correct.

Maybe you see how many “likes” other people’s posts have, which makes you feel insignificant or worthless in comparison.

To make matters worse, people tend to only present the best parts of their lives on Facebook. So you are comparing your life to a distorted version of theirs that has all the sad, boring and plain parts edited out. In fact, studies have even proven that using social media too much makes people feel worse about themselves on average.

I believe this problem is multiplied when you already feel inferior as it is.

[In a recent study…] researchers found that using social media during the day or night was significantly related to decreased sleep quality, lower self-esteem, increased anxiety and depression levels in the study participants. – LiveScience Writer

(And don’t even get me started on the news or magazines, which beam images of the most successful, attractive and wealthy people in the world straight into your home 24/7.)

7. You’re Secretly Very Judgemental of Other People

Here’s an interesting pattern I’ve noticed…

Often guys who have been very unsuccessful with women will start to dislike them. A guy who is a 30-year old virgin may feel resentful and angry if he sees a group of happy attractive women walk by.

Why?

I believe it’s because the women remind him of what he feels inferior about… his own insecurities about his attractiveness, his feelings of failure around the opposite sex, and his loneliness in general.

Another example…

A woman who looks at a magazine cover with a skinny supermodel and is outraged about “society’s unrealistic standards” is not looking at the real reason WHY the model makes her so mad. The supermodel triggers feelings of unattractiveness and unworthiness inside her.

Deep down, she may feel physically attractive women are more valuable than less attractive ones, and therefore believes everyone else is judging her the same way. It’s a core fear that a woman’s value to others depends on how physically attractive she is.

(In my observation, women are more likely to compare their appearance like this than men. Who knows why? There have been HUGE protests against Barbie to make her proportions more “normal”… yet nobody is protesting that Superman or Batman action figures should be more “realistic” so boys don’t feel insecure compared to them.)

Are you starting to see the pattern here? One last example…

People who make fun of a millionaire driving a Ferrari are often trying to cover up the inner feeling of inadequacy and lack they feel that is triggered when they compare it to their rusty Toyota. If they suddenly won a big lottery, they would probably be the first in line to buy an expensive car themselves.

So here’s the lesson…

Inferiority causes you to be judgemental towards other people. When you judge someone else, you are usually trying to make yourself feel better than them in comparison. This always backfires. Look at when you feel the most hateful and condemning towards others. It’s probably a hint about what you feel inferior about in yourself.

What you perceive in the outside world is really a reflection of what’s happening inside you.

So if you don’t judge others, you’re less likely to feel constantly judged.

8. You Try to Hide Your Flaws or Distract People from Them… Without Success

Sometimes people who feel ugly or insecure about their appearance will give up trying to improve it completely. Other times they will carefully try to hide whatever it is they feel ashamed of:

This could be as simple as wearing baggy dark clothes when you don’t like your body shape.

Or maybe trying to always strike a certain pose in photos.

Constantly checking your reflection in windows and mirrors.

I remember avoiding smiling as much as possible back when I was painfully insecure about my slightly crooked front teeth. I notice teenagers who have braces also often do this, or cover their mouth with their hand when they laugh.

And I suppose some women may wear more makeup when they’re feeling ugly, but I’m no expert here.

All of these examples are ways of trying to control how other people see you, so that you can avoid their judgement of your inferior qualities. All it usually does is make you feel more self-conscious and stressed, from all the strained effort and constant alertness.

(I only mentioned examples that do with your looks, but this applies to anything about you that you are embarrassed about: lifestyle, personality flaws, past history, etc.)

So Where Do You Go from Here?

Before I finish up, there’s one last point I need to make…

There’s a difference between knowing you’re inferior and feeling inferior. Knowing you’re inferior to other people is realistic, it means you have a good grasp on reality.

For example, Arnold Schwartzenegar probably knows that he in inferior in intelligence than Stephen Hawking. And Stephen Hawking knows he is inferior in acting to Leonardo Dicaprio. But just because they can recognize the true level of their abilities or achievements, does not mean they have to feel inferior as a person because of it.

As one quote goes:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s human nature to try to rearrange the outside world to keep us happy, instead of starting with the only thing we truly can change: yourself. I hope this article has given you a clarity and insight into how your feelings of inferiority work.

Understanding is the first step to change.

To learn how to get over the feeling of being inferior, watch this video – 5 Tips to Beat Inferiority Complex

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on How to Get Over the Feeling of Being Inferior and Be More Confident?

What is the Best Way to Eliminate Your Joint Pain?

 

Click on Here to Discover How You Can Completely Heal Any Type of Arthritis In 21 Days or Less

Eliminate Your Joint Pain – Arthritis Cured with This Common Household Cleaner

What you have below is an article that will show you the household cleaner that helps to eliminate arthritis in your body.

You read that right. It’s a household cleaner—not some overpriced drug with an unpronounceable, invented name.

Actually, this household cleaner is so effective that it scared the pants off the pharmaceutical industry.

Boron (found in borax) is a naturally occurring element extracted from dried salt lakes. Normally, a healthful diet with unprocessed and organically grown fruits and vegetables provides about 2 to 5 mg of boron per day.

However, harsh soil fertilizers and unhealthful cooking methods greatly reduce the intake of boron from food.

Nowadays, due to the increase of chemical soil fertilizers and processed food, our boron intake has greatly reduced over the past century. And this trend has led to a significant uptick in diseases related to joint inflammation, such as arthritis.

In 1960, Australian plant and soil scientist Rex Newnham was diagnosed with arthritis. He tried to cure the ailment with all kinds of treatments that conventional medicine at the time could offer.

Unfortunately, nothing worked, and his arthritis only progressed.

He decided to look for an answer in plants and discovered that the soil in the area were plants were grown was rather mineral deficient.

Newnham knew that boron increases calcium metabolism in plants. He decided to supplement himself with 30 mg of borax a day. After three weeks of experimentation, the pain, stiffness, and swelling completely disappeared.

Even though he shared this exciting news with Australian public health officials, they were not interested in a safe, alternative arthritis treatment.

Soon after, Newnham developed tablets with a safe and effective concentration of boron and helped thousands of people to cure their arthritis.

Obviously, Newnham’s work proved a great threat to big pharmaceutical companies and threatened to reduce their profits by replacing expensive arthritis treatments (that didn’t work anyway) with an easy and cheap supplement. As a result, borax was declared to be a poison in any concentration and banned from use as a cure.

Later, a double-blind trial in Royal Melbourne Hospital revealed that patients supplemented with borax had 70% improvement in their arthritis symptoms, compared to 12% in the placebo group.

There is obviously a direct correlation between low boron levels and arthritis. For example, Jamaica has extremely low soil boron levels, and Jamaicans’ arthritis rates are 70% higher than those in Israel, where estimated daily boron intake is 5 to 8 mg and arthritis is found in only 0.5–1% of the population.

Bone examination revealed that arthritis-affected joints had only half the boron content of healthy joints.

The synovial fluid that helps carry nutrients to the cartilage and lubricates joints was found to be boron deficient in arthritic joints.

According to Newnham, supplementing with borax can eliminate pain, inflammation, and joint stiffness in about 1 to 3 months.

After 3 months, he suggests reducing the treatment from 3 daily pills to 1 pill a day (each containing 3 mg of borax) as a preventative measure to avoid future arthritis.

Borax is usually sold as agricultural or technical grade at a 99–99.5% pure concentration. The remaining 0.5 % might consist of potassium, sodium, chloride, sulfates, phosphates, calcium, carbonate, and bicarbonate but no toxic or heavy metals.

Boric acid is also a popular and very effective treatment for Candida yeast infections, and it is widely sold and manufactured in the US.

Spoiler alert: there’s an even better method to easily defeating arthritis. Click this link and take a peek at how you can eliminate your joint pain today…

Eliminate Your Joint Pain – Desperate Arthritis Sufferer Saved by the Internet

If you suffer arthritis, you know that sitting for long typing on a computer can be as pleasurable for your joints as teeth pulling.

But there is a brighter side to computers and Internet. One that can help you even more effective than a well-meaning doctor.

And this amazing healing power of the Internet was recently proven in an Austrian study.

Many people with arthritis are in so much pain that they prefer to stay at homes. Others live in rural areas where treatment options are limited.

With this in mind, researchers in Australia recruited 148 people who suffered from chronic knee pain who were all aged 50 or more.

They divided them into two groups, one that received an Internet-based arthritis management course, and another that received simple but vague educational material about arthritis.

The online course included educational material, seven Skype-based videoconferencing sessions with a physiotherapist to train them in effective and safe home exercise, and an interactive program called PainCOACH that taught them relaxation techniques, problem solving skills, the use of pleasant imagery, and the modification of negative thoughts about pain.

At three and nine months after the program, all participants completed questionnaires to report their level of pain while walking, their quality of life, their functional status, their sense of control over their arthritis, their ability to cope, and the negative beliefs about pain.

After both three and nine months, the group that received the intervention reported significant improvements in all of the above aspects, especially in pain and level of function.

For people who had no other hope and were desperate for relief, the Internet went from a tool of convenience to one of a real lifesaver.

We’ve successfully used the Internet to help thousands of people cure their arthritis in 28 days or less. Here is how you can benefit from this simple strategy to eliminate joint pain…

Eliminate Your Joint Pain – 9 Foods That Tackle Inflammation

The majority of serious progressive diseases hassling the Western world are in one way or another caused by chronic inflammation. This includes arthritis, type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease and more.

The good news is that it’s relatively easy to manage chronic inflammation just through diet and small lifestyle changes. And when inflammation is dealt with, it reverses the progressive illnesses caused by it.

Fatty fish – Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines are good sources of omega-3 fatty acids that reduce inflammation. A 2009 study proved that eating baked or boiled fatty fish cuts down the risk of developing heart disease by 23 percent. If you don’t like eating fish, consider taking fish oil supplements.

Whole grains – They are a good source of fiber and are low in sugar and are ideal for reducing inflammation. In fact, at the molecular level, fibers help reduce the levels of C-reactive proteins. (C-reactive proteins are agents that stimulate inflammation.)

Green leafy vegetables – Spinach, kale, collard greens and broccoli are already praised for their health benefits. The high Vitamin E content in them helps protect the body from inflammation-causing substances like cytokines. They are also rich in other vitamins as well as minerals and are highly recommended.

Nuts – Nuts, especially almonds and walnuts, are packed full of antioxidants that help reduce inflammation. Almonds contain high levels of Vitamin E, calcium and fiber, while walnuts are rich in a type of omega-3 fatty acid called alpha linolenic acid. The antioxidants in nuts are useful for repairing any damage in the body caused by inflammation.

Soy – Soy and soy products are a rich source of isoflavones, which lower the levels of C-reactive proteins in the body and thus reduce the chances of inflammation.

Avoid processed soy as the additives and preservatives in it will destroy the benefits. Consume tofu, soy milk and edamame (boiled soya beans), for maximum benefits. Just make sure you choose organic, non GMO soy products.

Beetroot – Beetroots are packed full of fiber, Vitamin C and antioxidants and are known for its blood pressure-lowering properties as well as reducing inflammation.

Onion – Onions are not just remarkably great at boosting the flavor of food, it is also very good for keeping inflammation at bay. Onions contain several anti-inflammatory substances like quercetin and allicin that break down to form sulfenic acid that, in turn, fight free radicals.

Garlic – It might have a strong smell, but that’s no reason to stay away from this healthy vegetable! Garlic has many compounds that work in the same way as non steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs and shuts down the inflammation molecular pathway.

Berries – Almost all types of berries are good for fighting inflammation, especially the bright red-colored berries like raspberries and strawberries which contain anti-inflammatory compounds called anthocyanin. Raspberry extract has been shown to prevent arthritis in animals, while blueberries prevent intestinal inflammation and ulcerative colitis.

The two major diseases proven to be caused by inflammation are arthritis and type 2 diabetes. For more information on specific foods and lifestyle changes to tackle each one, click the link below:

For more ideas to eliminate your joint pain, watch this video – The ultimate guide to knee pain | Types, causes, home remedies, when to see a doctor

Reverse Type 2 Diabetes…

Tackle Arthritis and win…

Clear out clogged heart arteries…

This post is from the Arthritis Strategy Program. It was created by Shelly Manning, a former arthritis sufferer and a health consultant.

A Brief Background on the Author

Like you, Shelly Manning also suffered from arthritis, particularly osteoarthritis. This was due to her weight and desk job. Her condition eventually took a toll on her relationship with her (former) husband.

It was when she went to Hong Kong that she met Janerdquo, an old woman who owned the restaurant where she ate. Janerdquo supposedly offered her a bowl of a weird-smelling soup, which helped ease her joint pain. She ate there each day for 10 days until she was completely healed from arthritis.

Shelly Manning decided to research this natural remedy and to create a step-by-step treatment plan to others who are suffering from different types of arthritis, such as gout, rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia, and psoriatic arthritis.

That’s why she created “The Arthritis Step By Step Strategy.” According to her claims, this unique strategy will get rid of joint pain and stiffness, repair your damaged joints, and treat the underlying cause of your arthritis.

Shelly teamed up with Christian Goodman, the owner of Blue Heron Health News, a publishing company that aims to help people to take responsibility for their own health by using natural health alternatives for preventing arthritis in fingers and knees naturally.

To find out more about this program, go to Eliminate Your Joint Pain

How to Stop Excessive Sweating Due to Social Anxiety?

 

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

How to Stop Nervous Sweating (Caused by Social Anxiety)

If you’re here reading this page, then you’ve probably got a problem.

A pretty embarrassing problem. Something you try to hide from the world. Something you wish you could stop instantly.

Nervous sweating.

I’m about to show you what to do if you sweat all the time because of social anxiety or nervousness. And here’s why I’m qualified to talk about this…

A few years ago, my armpits would be absolutely drenched in sweat in almost any public place. I would sweat inside class or walking around outside. Even standing in line at the grocery store made my shirt damp and sticky under the armpits because of nervousness. I would even sweat when the temperature was cold, which made my shirt both wet AND cold – talk about an uncomfortable sensation!

So I know this problem can be very frustrating. It’s something you want to get rid of quickly.

I remember buying stronger deodorants and changing my shirt in the middle of the day. I also remember using the hand dryers in the school bathrooms to dry my shirt armpits so I could feel a bit more comfortable and to get rid of the stains. (Hoping nobody walked in while I was doing it!)

Other common areas for nervous sweating are the palms, face, etc. Sweating on the palms/hands can cause big difficulties because it makes most regular jobs very difficult, even shaking someone’s hand.

First let’s get something straight:

Is Your Sweating Caused by Nervousness Or Hyperhidrosis?

What is hyperhydrosis? It’s when someone’s sweat glands are overactive — they produce too much sweat when a person doesn’t need it. Hyperhidrosis is a physical problem with someone’s body — and people often go to surgery to fix it.

However, if you’re reading this article, then there’s a good chance that you do not have hyperhidrosis.

The question you need to ask yourself is: “When do I sweat?”

My answer to that would have been: “Only when I’m around people. Especially in more high pressure situations like talking in front of groups of people.” So my sweating was caused by my social anxiety or feeling nervous inside. When I was sitting at home alone I would not sweat, my armpits were usually dry as a bone. But stepping out of the house I would usually start to sweat.

So if you sweat a lot even when you’re alone and feeling relaxed, then you may have hyperhydrosis. A physical problem with how your sweat glands work. But if you basically only sweat when you’re feeling nervous or anxious, like inside or just before a social situation, then your sweating has a different mental cause.

Now let’s move on to what you really want to know — how to stop the sweating!

Are You Attacking the Symptoms or The Cause?

Buying stronger deodorants, changing your shirt multiple times a day and keeping your arms tightly pressed to your sides. All these are ways of attacking the symptoms of sweating.

However, the real way to stop nervous sweating is by fixing the root cause of your sweating. Since your sweating is only triggered in some situations, the root cause is mental.

You’re not sweating because of the heat. You’re also not sweating because your sweat glands are broken. You’re sweating because the “fight or flight response” in your brain has been triggered. 

The fact is, whenever you feel anxious, nervous, stressed, etc… it means the “fight or flight” survival part of your brain has been triggered. This is the part of your brain that makes your heart beat faster or hands tremble when you’re nervous. And it’s also what causes nervous sweating.

What Triggers Your Fight or Flight Response?

If you have social anxiety, then the simplest answer I can give you is: When you think you’re about to be rejected. Another way of looking at it: When you think something shameful about you is about to be exposed.

And this is why sweating is a vicious cycle for most people, including myself for many years.

You think if people notice you sweating, they would instantly look down on you. They would judge you to be not confident or weird or even gross. That’s why you desperately want the sweat to dry up and stop… and you desperately want to hide it from everyone.

You believe sweating is a shameful flaw that needs to be hidden. So what happens is that whenever you start sweating a little, you start to worry about it. This makes you feel more nervous, which makes you sweat more. So you get more nervous, sweat more. And on and on… a downward spiral.

Therefore, I’m about to make a weird statement, which I feel is 100% true for people who have social anxiety:

Overcome Shame, And You Overcome Sweating

I remember listening to Dr. David D. Burns tell a story of how he treated a man who had a nervous sweating problem in just one evening. (In case you don’t know, Dr. Burns wrote what may be THE most popular book, which can be available on Amazon, called Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy of all time about cognitive behavioural therapy.)

Here’s what happened…

The man came in to Dr. Burn’s therapy office, saying that he really hated how much he sweat from nervousness, especially when talking to attractive women.

And Dr. Burns told him: “I can promise you I can get rid of the problem permanently in just one evening. But it won’t be easy. If you promise to do exactly what I tell you, then I can fix this problem. But you have to follow my directions exactly.” (I’m paraphrasing what I remember here.)

The man agreed, because he wanted to get rid of his nervous sweating no matter what. So Dr. Burns told the man to come back to his office next Thursday so they could get to work.

Dr. David D. Burns Shows a Nervous Sweaty Man His “Shame Attacking” Exercise

When the man came back to the office next week, he found Dr. Burns dressed very casually in a t shirt and jeans. And he was holding a water bottle. To the man’s surprise, Dr. Burns told him that they would be going for a walk instead of sitting in the therapy office.

As they walked outside, Dr. Burns reminded the man how he had promised to do exactly what he said to cure the nervous sweating. The man agreed again.

Soon they came to a busy convenience store. Dr. Burns opened the water bottle and started splashing water onto his armpits.

“What are you doing!?!” the man exclaimed.

“Here, put some water on your armpits too,” said the therapist, acting like this was totally normal.

The man reluctantly did it too. Now they both looked like they had just been running in a marathon, all sweaty.

“Now I want you to go inside this convenience store, point at your armpits and loudly tell everyone how sweaty they are,” the doctor told him.

“I can’t do that!” the man cried. He was busy trying to HIDE his wet armpits from the people walking into the store.

“Okay, if I do it first, then will you promise to do it after me?” asked the doctor. The nervous man couldn’t believe his well-educated therapist would do this, and he agreed.

Sure enough, Dr. Burns walked into the convenience store. He lifted up one of his arms to reveal a big wet stain, and loudly said “Hey look how much I’m sweating today! Wow it sure is hot outside!”

The man looked from the outside amazed. A couple minutes later, Dr. Burns walked back outside and the man knew it was his turn. He copied what he has saw the doctor doing, lifting his arm and pointing out how sweaty he was to everyone in the busy convenience store, including the attractive woman working behind the counter.

Most people ignored him. Two or three people looked up before going back to their shopping or conversations. And 2 minutes later the man walked back outside, feeling exhilarated from doing something so far outside his comfort zone.

Dr. Burns and the man went to a couple more stores, repeating this exercise. And when Dr. Burns followed up with the man a few weeks, then a few months later… the man told him that his sweating problem was fixed.

Why Did the Man’s Nervous Sweating Stop?

So why did that extreme exercise work for the man? Because it attacked the root cause of his sweating – shame. In fact, Dr. Burns even calls it a “shame attacking exercise.”

“If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.” – Brene Brown

By exposing the shameful thing for all to see instead of keeping it a secret, the shame fades away.

For more tips to stop excessive sweating due to social anxiety, watch this video – How to Overcome Nervous Sweating (and other Social Anxiety Symptoms)

Of course, there are less extreme ways to get over shame about your nervous sweating. One of the approaches I personally teach to my students is unconditional self-acceptance. It takes a bit more time to work than one evening, but I think it’s easier for most people with social anxiety than the very difficult exercise I told in this story.

Just remember that the more you feel ashamed of something and try to hide it, the more nervous it will make you. This is why nervous sweating turns into a vicious cycle for many people. In this article I’ve given you a BIG hint about how to fix the problem.

Overcome the shame, and you overcome the sweating. I still remember the first time I was listening to stand-up comedian Louis CK talk about how sweaty he was on stage. I was amazed at how someone could sweat, but not be ashamed about it. That was my first hint, and now I very rarely sweat from nervousness.

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on How to Stop Excessive Sweating Due to Social Anxiety?