Beat Social Anxiety – How to Stop Constant Daydreaming and Thinking

 CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

Do You Daydream, Think A Lot, and Live Inside Your Head?

Do you often wander off into your own thoughts?

Do you daydream and “zone out” many times a day?

Do you always talk to yourself in your head almost to the point that you are living inside your head instead of out in the real world?

If so, then you’re not alone. I used to be a huge daydreamer. I would always be thinking about things and fantasizing about things happening. Whether I was by myself or with other people.

I was always lost inside my own thoughts and payed little attention to the outside world. And I didn’t even realize how often I was doing it until one day, in high school, someone mentioned that I was a daydreamer.

At that point I started to become aware of how often I was caught up in my own thoughts, getting lost in my own inner world. I was always absent from the real world because I was thinking to myself constantly.

It almost felt like I was cut off from the world, just looking into it but not interacting with it. I felt trapped. It was very difficult to socialize with other people because I was never “there.”

It would be many years after this realization that I would learn that many people with shyness and social anxiety suffer from the same dilemma. Constantly caught up in their thoughts, daydreaming, being absent mentally from the people around them and the outer world.

If this describes you, then this post is going to change the way you live.

Why Are You Constantly Thinking and Daydreaming?

Why is it that people with shyness and social anxiety daydream so much? Why is it such a common problem for them compared to “regular” people?

My guess is that it’s a form of partial avoidance. To understand what partial avoidance is, you first have to know what avoidance is.

Avoidance is when someone who has social anxiety avoids the situations that make them feel anxious. They may avoid doing speeches in school. They may see someone they know walking towards them down the street and quickly try to find ways to avoid them. They may even get to the point of staying inside their house all day. These are all examples of avoidance. You avoid the people, places, and situations that make you feel anxious.

So now what does partial avoidance mean? Partial avoidance is a little more subtle than regular avoidance.

Partial avoidance means that you avoid situations mentally instead of physically. Instead of avoiding the situation by not going into it physically, you avoid it with your mind. You are distancing yourself from the anxiety-provoking situation you are in through using distractions, daydreaming, and so on.

Partial avoidance is usually mental avoidance of the thing you fear. In the case of social anxiety, that probably means being around people.

Basically, if you feel anxious just being around people, then your mind may start to daydream and get lost in thought so you don’t have to “face” the situation fully. It’s a way of lessening the unpleasant feeling of anxiety.

Escaping a Painful Reality

Another possible reason why people with shyness or social anxiety daydream a lot is to escape their current situation. If you are shy, if you don’t have a lot of friends, if you don’t really like yourself, then you may try to escape from that reality.

You may begin to use your thoughts to live a life that your shyness or social anxiety holds you back from.

If you’re too nervous to ask out a girl you like, then you may fantasize about going out with her in your head. If you are too shy to speak up, then you may imagine yourself doing it. If you aren’t assertive enough to do something you want to do, or be the person you want to be, then you may live these things out in your head instead.

All of these examples illustrate one fundamental thing: using your thoughts to escape reality. You create a new reality in your head that is much closer to the one you’d like to be in. It’s the reality that would exist if you didn’t have the social fear or excessive social inhibition holding you back.

In a nutshell, your shyness or social anxiety stop you from living the life you want, which causes you to get stuck in your head, which just makes it harder to overcome your shyness or anxiety. It’s a vicious cycle.

To learn how to stop constant daydreaming and thinking, watch this video –

Maladaptive Daydreaming & Extreme Fantasizing | How to Control It

Learning How to Become Present

Now that you know a couple possible reasons why you daydream and live in your head, the question is: how can you fix it? How do you stop being absent to the world? How do you stop escaping it through excessive thoughts and daydreaming?

It took me a long time to figure out the answer to these questions, but I finally found it. And I found it in the unlikeliest of places.

A couple years ago, a friend recommended to me a book called “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. It’s a book that explains the basics of meditation and how to be present to the moment. Since I like to read a lot, I decided to give it a shot.

The book rocked my world. No kidding.

This was the book that helped me stop constant daydreaming and thinking. I was finally able to stop the inner mental noise and be “present” to the world instead of lost in my own thoughts.

Essentially, the book teaches you how to quiet your thoughts so that you are able to live more in the present moment. It does this through several different mental exercises that you need to do regularly. The exercises are closely related to meditation.

If you have problems daydreaming and thinking too much, then this book gets my highest recommendation. You can purchase it at Amazon or most local bookstores.

Of course, if you don’t want to read a whole book just to learn how to become present, then there is another option for you…

In my e-book, I wrote a chapter called “Mindfulness and Being Present.” In this chapter, I took the most important techniques and tools from “The Power of Now,” as well as other books and my own personal experience. I then combined and summarized them in a way that someone with social anxiety can quickly learn how to stop daydreaming and thinking too much.

So if you want to “get straight to the goods,” so to speak, without having to read a whole book, then you can download my e-book here.

Whichever option you choose, don’t let this opportunity pass you by. If you’ve read this far, then you have probably had this problem for years, if not forever. Use this post as a wake-up call. You can do something about it. Don’t wait to live.

 By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on How to Stop Constant Daydreaming and Thinking?

Dealing with Difficult People When You Have Social Anxiety

 

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

Do you ever get very nervous and anxious when you have to talk to a difficult person?

What do I mean by “difficult person”? I mean someone who gets upset or angry easily. Someone who is negative, critical, and controlling.

When you have social anxiety, it can be very stressful to talk to these types of people.

Why is it particularly difficult to talk to them if you have social anxiety? It’s because social anxiety basically boils down to a fear of disapproval. This means that you’re going to feel the most anxious around people who are most likely to suddenly and severely disapprove of you.

And the bad thing is, these difficult people are everywhere. They could be one of your parents, grandparents, siblings, co-workers, boss, and so on. You may be forced to deal with one or more of them every day.

This post will show you the way to lower the amount of anxiety and stress you feel when around them.

Certain People May Trigger Social Anxiety in Early Childhood

As a side tangent, difficult people may also have played a part in forming your social anxiety. If one of your parents or relatives was one of these “difficult” people while you were growing up, they could have originally set off your social anxiety. Being around a certain type of adult in childhood often causes social anxiety to begin.

I still remember the day I found out about this. I was reading a book about the causes of shyness when I ran across this quote:

“People with shyness usually behave as if there is someone around them who is negative, critical, and controlling.”

When I read this, I had a huge realization as to the cause of my own social anxiety.

And maybe this will shed some light onto your own past. Think about it: was there anyone in your early childhood who was negative, critical, and controlling? If there was, then they’re the ones who may have originally “triggered” your social anxiety and fear of disapproval.

Of course, it’s too late to go back now and stop your social anxiety from beginning. All you can do now is accept your social anxiety or shyness now that you have it and be proactive about overcoming it.

You Feel More Anxious Around “Difficult” People

If there is someone in your life who is very negative, critical, and controlling, and who disapproves of you often for little reason, then you will feel a lot more anxious around them.

Why?

It’s because the amount of anxiety you feel is directly related to how likely you think disapproval will happen. In other words, you’re going to feel the most anxiety around those people who are most likely to disapprove of you.

Re-read that last paragraph a few times. It’s VERY important.

Isn’t it true? You feel most anxious around people who often disapprove of you? And around them you may also have symptoms such as:

• Faster heart rate and breathing
• Paling or flushing
• Dryness of mouth
• Shaking

All of these are symptoms of the fight-or-flight reaction which I’ve written about before. When you feel anxious around difficult people, then you’re sometimes also going to feel these symptoms.

How to Deal with It

Alright, so now that you have some background knowledge of how difficult people affect your shyness or social anxiety, now the question is: what can you do about it?

The good news is you CAN get rid of your anxiety around difficult people. The bad news is, there’s no instant cure.

Just like any part of social anxiety, you have to desensitize yourself over time and gain exposure to the thing which makes you feel anxiety. In this case, that means not avoiding the difficult person.

Of course, exposure by itself is not enough. You probably know that by now. Plenty of people go to or work or schools for years and never get rid of their social anxiety. So if all you do is exposure, then your anxiety probably won’t go away.

To get rid of anxiety, you have to combine the exposure with:

Relaxation coping techniques – Be very relaxed and breathe deeply through your belly.

And changing the way your mind works. (In psychology, this is called “cognitive restructuring.”)

The last point is probably the most important. Changing the way your mind works is the step that permanently removes the anxiety from your brain. The question is, how can you change the way your mind works? The best place to learn is through my e-book.

I dedicate over half of the pages in my e-book to a section called “Changing The Way You Think” which shows you how to do exactly that.

The section in my e-book is a comprehensive summary of all of the techniques and knowledge I’ve learned and developed myself for overcoming my own social anxiety and helping many, many others do the same.

I truly believe that no other book out there can compare when it comes to changing yourself and your inner thought processes from someone with shyness or social anxiety to someone who is confident and self-assured.

For more ideas on how to deal with difficult people if you have social anxiety, watch the 3 videos below –

How to Deal with Difficult People | Jay Johnson | TEDxLivoniaCCLibrary

5 Ways to Disarm Toxic People

15 Ways Intelligent People Deal With Difficult and Toxic People

If you want to learn more, check it out here.

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on How to Deal with Difficult People If You Have Social Anxiety?