Anxiety is a behavioral problem that can easily be corrected with the right guidance and information. That’s a really important point because many people fear that their anxiety problem is a sign of a mental illness. It is not.
The second point is that panic attacks have nothing to do with a lack of courage, in fact it is quite the opposite. People with panic attacks actually do the bravest things.
I have worked with people like firemen, police officers, and soldiers who have done very brave things in their line of duty, but tell me privately that dealing with their anxiety has been the greatest challenge for them. Of course, the average person can’t understand why it’s such a big deal to drive on the freeway, or go to church, or even go shopping.
But for the person who needs panic attack help, accomplishing these things can be a massive achievement. It doesn’t make headline news, but facing your fears daily is real bravery.
The fight or flight response that you experience during a panic attack is a built-in mechanism, going back to our cavemen days. It is there to protect you from danger, not to harm you.
Rest assured that your body’s primary goal is to keep you alive and well. Panic attacks are not your enemy; they are the result of you misinterpreting the signals your body is sending—a bit like a false alarm.
Think of all the panic attacks you’ve experienced and how you’ve always come out on the other side—possibly petrified, but nevertheless alive and undamaged. Aren’t you still here, after all those attacks that convinced you that you were going to die?
By Barry McDonagh, who is an international panic disorder coach.He created the Panic Away program to help people around the world deal with their anxiety and avoid panic attacks – a subject that he is personally attuned to because he himself found that he was prone to these issues since he was young. His hatred of his powerless lead him down the path of finding natural ways to treat himself without having to depend on expensive medications.
Anxietyat the hairdressers is such a common worry for people. It happens because people feel trapped having to sit in the chair while their hair is being done. No easy escape without having to make an awkward excuse right? Stacy Fiorile writes a guest post on this topic for Panic Away below. ______________________________________________
Just sitting. That is all. That is all you have to do. Is sit. And get your hair cut. You have been doing this since before you can remember. Only you know why, your hair has grown all funky. Maybe your grey is showing more and more.
You recently decided to invest in a good pair of scissors or clippers. Maybe you have purchased a box of do-it-yourself hair dye from Revlon or Clairol. Or maybe, you just let it all grow out. Greys and all.
You would even save a few bucks. You played it off to everyone. After all, why did anyone need to know your secret? It is none of their business anyway, right?
Deep inside you knew, though. You knew. And, you also knew this was getting really bad. You may have thought you were losing your mind. You thought I must need medication, right?
You felt weak and embarrassed. However, you just could not stand the dizziness and racing heart just to get your haircut. The palpitations and feelings of being unattached to your own body were unbearable.
You think that everyone will notice. They will think that I am crazy. Maybe I am? In the chair, everything begins to close in on me. You check for the nearest exit. Voices muffle and the light and sounds are unbearable.
You think I have to get out of here. And there you go, out the door barely signing your credit card or excusing yourself to the bathroom. Maybe pretending your phone just buzzed, just to excuse yourself.
You rush back to your car or home. I am safe. I am now safe, you think. Now how will I get to the store to buy scissors? Then you think of that certain someone.
I will send ______ to the store. You fill in the blank. You know who runs your errands for you when you are just not feeling up to it. We all have that safe and trusted go to. Or maybe not.
If this resonates deep inside, this story was, written for you. There is a solution. And it is not a pill. This is the story of soulsurvivor.
“Everyone knows me as someone who the majority of the time has a cleaned lined up face and most don’t know the real reason I haven’t been to a barber in about 2 months.”
Soulsurvivor, by all accounts appears to be your average regular guy from New York. He enjoys writing, blogging. sports, movies, music, travel, gym, nature and driving. But, have a closer look and you will see a very courageous man.
No, he does not have merit badges or trophies to show for his bravery but he has a story. A story that will help inspire through his bravery and proven internal strength and resolve.
Back in the summer of 2020, soulsurvivor had been experiencing regular panic attacks but on this one particular day, he experienced the BIG one. Soulsurvivor was a trooper.
He did not let it stop him from going to the barber that day to get his haircut. That day while sitting in the barber chair, overwhelming sensations took over his body.
He experienced sensations of choking. It felt like someone just took him off of a respirator. Heart palpitations and dizziness took over. You know the drill. He got up from the chair 8-10 times.
Thinking the barber must think I am on drugs or something. After an absolutely, horrifying experience he actually went back to the barber a few more times, each time, horrifying.
He did not understand what was happening to him. He was so embarrassed. He would make up excuses to walk outside. Telling the barber, he was just dehydrated and needed some water. Getting up mid-haircut.
All those customers staring. It was too much. He was so embarrassed that he did not go back to the barber for months.
He instead grew out his beard. He just could not do it. He had no idea what was wrong with him or what to do about it. He began to feel very sad and unsure of himself. Until one day, he stumbled upon Panic Away.
He was relieved to discover that he was not alone. After reading Panic Away, he discovered that it was common for people with anxiety and panic, to not be able to sit for a simple haircut. He was not crazy after all!
He took control and went back to the barber ready to stare fear directly, down.
While at the barber waiting for his turn calmly listening to Claire Weekes, “passing through anxiety” practicing acceptance, (step two of Barry’s 21 technique), he managed. Until suddenly, a jolt of adrenaline ran through his body when the screeching word “NEXT” echoed across the all of the sudden very dreadful barber shop.
A cold sweat broke-out.
His heart began beating faster and faster. He was overcome with light-headedness and dizzy sensations. Everything muted. And then it happened. “I recognized exactly what those sensations were, and I just said go ahead.
You can make me as uncomfortable all you want but that’s all you’re capable of. I’m just gonna sit still and it’s all gonna be over soon.”
He recognized, accepted and demanded more all while trusting his body to handle the sensations. Once he demanded more, he turned the tables on anxiety. Before he knew it, he was instructing the barber how to cut his hair!
He left the barber feeling like a million bucks! Soulsurviver explained that he felt like a million bucks not just because of the haircut “but because it was so symbolic for me. I’ve been walking around carrying my anxiety on my face for the past 3 months, and every time I face it, every time I dare it to do something to me, it proves powerless!”
The panic loop was broken. The fear of the fear vanished. Just like that. No pills. No magic. Just following this simple behavior changing system, which, flips off the fear switch. Yes, bravery must be to thank. Without soulsurvivors bravery the 21 technique would not work.
Another important point to make here is, while soulsurvivor avoided the barber for about 2-3 months before he ventured back for a haircut, many more people go years and years avoiding sitting in that chair.
It does not matter how long you have avoided getting your haircut or anything for that matter due to fear of having a panic attack. This 21 technique will work in any situation where panic exists regardless of how long you have had panic attacks. You too can flip that fear switch off and put an end to your panic attacks.
In summary, courage and the 21 is all you need to brave the barber. Kudos soulsurvivor! You are amazing! Thank you for sharing your story with the hopes of getting some overgrown beards trimmed, some greys colored and putting barbers back to work! Bravo!
This guest post was written by Stacy L. Fiorile, MA, CAGS, NJCSP, NCSP
By Barry McDonagh, who is an international panic disorder coach.He created the Panic Away program to help people around the world deal with their anxiety and avoid panic attacks – a subject that he is personally attuned to because he himself found that he was prone to these issues since he was young. His hatred of his powerless lead him down the path of finding natural ways to treat himself without having to depend on expensive medications.
It seems every time I do a search online there is yet another anxiety “expert” rehashing the same old ideas. Brown Paper bags, think happy thoughts, do your breathing etc. I am sure you have come across them a million times before already.
How are people supposed to solve their anxiety issue if they are continuously exposed to these techniques and methods that only teach people to cope with anxiety. Just coping is not good enough. Real solutions are needed.
I want to share with you something that does work. It is a very simple way to help end the fear of a PANIC ATTACK. (In later emails I will address feelings of general anxiety)
Tell the panic that it has 20 seconds to initiate the full panic attack. 20 seconds and no more. After the 20 seconds are complete it must stop making empty threats.
You are allowing 20 seconds for it to fully manifest but not a second more.
Whatever the bodily sensation is that you fear, it must happen within that 20 second time frame.
-If you heart is going to explode then it has 20 seconds to do so.
-If you are going to lose control, then your mind has 20 seconds to do so.
-If you are going to faint – 20 seconds! But absolutely no more time than that.
You get the picture.
By setting a specific time frame you establish boundaries of control. You turn it into a game where you call fear’s bluff. If it were a poker game, you are asking anxiety to show its hand.
This works because it establishes a sense of control within your mind and body.
You think to yourself “I am not prepared to spend my time worrying about this. I’ve had enough. I am going to be generous and give it 20 seconds but after 20 seconds and nothing has happened then the opportunity has officially passed and I am going to go back to what I was doing.”
Then start counting -but nice and slowly, don’t rattle it off as fast as you can. Really tease it out like you did when you were a child and you never wanted to reach zero.
Teasing it out is the key because it allows you to feel generous and that you are giving anxiety every chance possible.
Deep down you know there is really nothing to fear.
To really help tease it out, break the last few numbers into fractions.
5………………………….. 4………………………….. 3…………………………… 2…and three quarters… 2…and half……………… 2………………………….. 1…and three quarters… (last chance anxiety) 1…and half……………… (I really cant wait any longer) 1………………………….. 0.
Sorry too late we’ve reached the end.
By not rushing through the countdown you will feel your confidence soar because you are demonstrating real control and authority over your anxious thoughts and bodily sensations. You are saying “look, I am really trying to give you all the time I can to unleash X,Y, and Z, I am being very generous here with this countdown.
Count your way to freedom. Count your way to confidence.
P.S. If you want to get started on the Panic Away course right now click here and you can download the course in the next 5 minutes. Join with me and let’s end the vicious cycle of anxiety and panic attacks today.
By Barry McDonagh, who is an international panic disorder coach.He created the Panic Away program to help people around the world deal with their anxiety and avoid panic attacks – a subject that he is personally attuned to because he himself found that he was prone to these issues since he was young. His hatred of his powerless lead him down the path of finding natural ways to treat himself without having to depend on expensive medications.
Have you ever wondered why people often experience setbacks when they begin to tackle their anxiety? Setbacks happen because, as you face your anxiety and the situations that make you feel uncomfortable, the avoidant/protective side of your personality becomes active.
When you decide to tackle your anxiety issue head on, the protective side of your personality would rather that you left well enough alone. Your protective side doesn’t like taking risks and feels better when you don’t put yourself in situations that make you feel anxious.
It’s the part of you that says:
“Let’s stay in our comfort zone today. At least we’re safe here.”
This part of your personality has your interests at heart, but you know deep down that a life cocooned from all adversity doesn’t lead to happiness. When you begin on your healing journey, it’s all new and it can feel like you’re moving into unknown territory. You quickly master areas of your life that were causing you problems.
Your protective side takes a back seat and watches with suspicion as you make this progress. Then, after a while, your protective side becomes more active for fear that, with all this progress, a great fall must be just around the corner.
As you move upward and onward, your protective side gets scared and tries to put on the brakes. This creates a conflict and fuels feelings of anxiety. The feelings can be very intense and might be similar to what you’ve experienced before-such as panic and general unease-or there may be new sensations never experienced before.
You might have been doing really well for a week, but then your protective side pops its head up and says something like this:
“Okay, well done. We’re not worried about dizzy spells anymore -fine. But what’s that ringing in your ear?”
“That sounds like trouble to me . . . LET’S GET WORRIED.
“No panic attacks in a week-great. But don’t be fooled. That means a really BIG one is about to pounce!”
These thoughts undermine your confidence. Suddenly you’re feeling vulnerable again, and the anxiety can return as your confidence dips and you obsess again about the way you feel. This kind of response is natural in recovery, and if you’ve experienced a setback recently, I want to show you how to best deal with it.
The first thing to remember is that setbacks happen. Try to never let a setback convince you that you’re not making progress. It doesn’t mean that all your progress has been undone. In general, setbacks are inevitable, and you need to have an accepting attitude toward them.
Secondly, setbacks form part of your healing. To move beyond the anxiety, you need to work with the protective side of your personality and teach it that there really is nothing to fear. When setbacks occur, it’s an indication that you now need to take your new understanding and work with your protective side, which is resisting the change.
You might want to think of that protective side as a small child who doesn’t want you (the parent) to take risks or do anything out of your comfort zone. Talk to this part yourself. Reassure it that all will be well and that it’s necessary for you to work through the anxiety in order to experience more freedom and happiness.
Setbacks can feel like a big step backward, but they’re generally followed by rapid progress on many levels if you engage fully with this protective side of yourself.
There’s an opportunity here for you to create a new working relationship with your protective self, and this will really seal your recovery. When you educate your protective self that you’re really safe and encourage it to take the steps with you, you become fully empowered to end your anxiety problem. All of your internal energies go in the same direction, and there’s no conflict.
Persistence will carry you through all setbacks and ensure your success.
Keep your confidence intact. Build it on the past, on each time you’ve succeeded.
Play those previous successes like a film in your head, again and again, each night as you go to sleep. All the panic attacks you’ve dealt with, all the sensations of anxiety you’ve felt and yet you still got on with it.
General anxiety disorder and, especially, panic attacks are probably the most frightening experiences a person can go through. In most cases, you feel like you’ve had a brush with death itself. That’s no small feat to deal with while on your lunch break!
Be proud of your experiences. You’re not a cowardly victim, but a survivor of a terrifying experience-and what’s more, you probably stayed at work or collected the kids from school. You continued living. Sure, there may be a few hairy anxiety memories in the past that you’d prefer to forget, but the underlying emotion to build upon is that you survived and you’re here now, alive and living a new day.
Build a wealth of memories, and they’ll be your resource from which to draw strength. Write them down, because that solidifies them and makes them more real in your mind. Read them to yourself regularly.
Be sure to keep a diary as written proof of the progress you’re making-the trips you take that weren’t possible before, the special days when you completely forgot you ever had an anxiety problem. You need to keep a record of these achievements because it’s easy for your protective side to negate the great strides you’ve made.
Confidence, just like fear, is contagious. Soon you’ll find it spreading to all areas of your life, giving you a quality of life even beyond your pre-anxiety days.
Always try to focus on the success you’ve achieved, and it will grow and expand in your life.
Persist with it. Turn a setback into an opportunity to solidify your real confidence. Regardless of what happens, you can handle it. Regardless of how your body feels, you’ll move through the anxiety and come out the other side smiling.
If you remain persistent, setbacks can be quickly turned to your advantage, and you’ll be strengthened by the experience.
Setbacks are delicate periods to move through, so you also need to be kind to yourself. Understand that they’re the result of YOU just trying to protect YOU. Be your own best friend. When you take your protective self by the hand and teach it that there’s nothing to fear, you’ll quickly march toward a greater experience of freedom.
Recovery is not a straight linear process. It will help if you try not to measure success on a day-to-day basis. Some days will be better than others-that’s just the way it is, so don’t get upset if you complete something successfully one day but fail the next.
Keep your eyes on the end goal, and persistence will carry you there.
What If My Anxiety Comes Back?
After a person has successfully moved out of their anxiety it is only natural, to at some stage, fear its reoccurrence. I call this the anxiety shadow. It is a worry in the back of your mind that the anxiety could return with full force and disrupt your life all over again.
Anxiety leaves such a strong imprint on people’s lives that it is normal to have such concerns. Fearing a return of anxiety is common when your life becomes stressful again and you worry that the extra stress will tip you back into a state of general anxiety. If you find yourself worrying in such a manner have faith that all will be well.
This worry is just a shadow of what has gone, it is based on the past not the future.
Generally, the anxiety shadow passes quickly after a day or two and you forget about it again. Remind yourself of the new tools and education you have. Take solace in the fact that your new understanding will lift the anxiety quickly again were it to return.
P.S. If you have experienced an anxiety setback and want to get over it quickly, get the support and information you need in my course Panic Away. Stage 3 of the course deals specifically with overcoming setbacks.
By Barry McDonagh, who is an international panic disorder coach.He created the Panic Away program to help people around the world deal with their anxiety and avoid panic attacks – a subject that he is personally attuned to because he himself found that he was prone to these issues since he was young. His hatred of his powerless lead him down the path of finding natural ways to treat himself without having to depend on expensive medications.
