Stop Shyness Fast – How to Become Less Shy and More Confident?

 

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

Shyness Vs Introversion – Which One Do You Have?

Most people think that being “shy” and being “introverted” are the same thing. They use the two words as if they are identical.

In reality there’s a huge difference between shyness and introversion.

In this post, I’ll show you what this difference is, and how you can tell which one of the two you fit into.

Introverted People Have a Preference

First I’m going to explain what introversion is. Someone who is introverted likes to be alone more than the “average” person.

They may enjoy solitary activities like playing video games or reading books. They may also dislike group activities like going out to bars or socializing. Introverts also usually have fewer and closer friends than extroverts, who tend to have many more friends.

In short, being an introvert comes down to a personal preference. You prefer to spend more of your free time by yourself. It comes down to choosing to do what you personally enjoy. It’s the same as choosing to eat a certain food because you like how it tastes. Introversion is all about YOU.

Shy People Have a Fear

Shyness is totally different from introversion. Shyness isn’t a preference, but a fear.

When you are shy, you are constantly worried and afraid about what other people think of you. You care a lot about how you are coming across to others. Your fear of other people’s opinions makes you self-conscious, inhibited and quiet, especially around strangers.

Shyness is basically a nice word for fear. Unlike introverts, who prefer to “keep to themselves,” shy people may “keep to themselves” simply because they are avoiding anxiety, discomfort and fear.

Shyness is not about you and your preferences, but about OTHER PEOPLE.

Worrying about how other people perceive you and whether they will disapprove of you.

Which One Do You Have?

So what’s the difference between shyness and introversion? Shyness is a fear of other people’s negative opinion and reactions, while introversion is a preference to spend time alone and has nothing to do with fear.

How can you figure out whether you’re shy or introverted? Pay attention to how you feel inside when you are around people. Imagine you have to make a speech in front of a group of people and think about how you would feel inside.

If you would feel anxious, tense, scared, or nervous, then you have shyness. You have a fear of the situation. Other symptoms of shyness include not knowing what to say, being too quiet, or having physical reactions like sweating, shaking or blushing. 

Someone who is shy may spend a lot of time by themselves, not because they prefer to, but because they want to avoid the fear and other uncomfortable feelings they get when they are put under the pressure of other people’s eyes.

On the other hand, if you can make presentations to groups comfortably and talk to other people with ease, but you still spend a lot of your time by yourself, then you are probably introverted. If you don’t feel fear or anxiety around people, but you still choose to be by yourself, then it probably means you have a preference for being solitary.

Shyness Is a Problem, Introversion Isn’t

In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with someone who enjoys spending time alone. Everybody is different and has different personal tastes in the types of activities they enjoy. Some people just don’t enjoy being a social butterfly and that’s fine.

However, I take a different stand on shyness. Shyness, which is basically the fear of other people’s negative judgement, is a problem that should be tackled head-on. It’s a problem because it isn’t voluntary: people can’t choose whether or not to be anxious and nervous around others.

The bottom line is: shyness makes your life worse, not better. Shy people would usually love to have more friends and get a better social life, but their fear stops them from doing what they want. Removing this fear is a worthwhile goal that will improve your quality of life.

Watch this video – 5 practical steps to become less shy and more confident.

If you have shyness and want to find out a way to overcome it, then check out this page to find out how I went from a shy, insecure loner to a socially confident guy.

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on How to Become Less Shy and More Confident?

Overcome Shyness – Two Easy Ways to Get Rid of Nervousness

 

CLICK HERE to Find Out How to Overcome Your Social Phobia

In our modern culture, everyone is focused on becoming more social, popular, and liked–since all of these personality traits come with many benefits. Extroverted people generally have more friends, fun and success than introverts. They also tend to suffer from loneliness and depression less.

Becoming more outgoing and social is about living life to the fullest, unafraid to express yourself or go after what you want in life. Since being extroverted has so many benefits to it, it makes sense to want to get rid of your shyness.

Getting your conversation skills up to speed is one quick and easy way to start becoming less introverted. In particular, you want to start becoming more impulsive in what you say.

While there are some situations, like job interviews, where you want to be very careful about what you say, in most you should focus on talking more often and more spontaneously. This is going to sound bad, but try not to think too much before you speak in informal social situations.

If you put too much effort into everything you say, you’ll come across as a try-hard. By being spontaneous and just letting the words flow, you become easy-going, which is what people like.

In some situation, you can probably already talk to people easily and spontaneously. It could be around your family, your niece or nephew, or talking to a close friend.

However, when around people you don’t know well or are intimidated of, you aren’t able to act the same way. Your shyness gets in the way. A lot of the time, this issue can fix itself through gradual exposure.

An intimidating stranger soon become a close friend if you hang around him several times. By spending more time with people you’ll start to get the hang of talking to strangers.

Believe it or not, how well you make conversation is not a talent you were born with, but a skill set. Just like riding a bicycle, the more you practice this skill set the better you will become and the easier you’ll find it to be relaxed around new people.

In lowering your levels of nervousness when talking to people, there are many useful techniques to help you relax. Relaxation has the effect of demonstrating to your brain that there is nothing to be afraid of in this situations, which makes your brain’s anxiety lessen. You want that: nothing kills feelings of nervousness and anxiety faster than physical relaxation.

Your relaxation routine should be structured in a way that gets you the maximum results in overcoming shyness. It is not an event, it is a process. It is more effective to implement relaxation as a new routine rather than try it out one time incorrectly when you are in the middle of a full-blown anxiety attack. It will be the compounding of accumulated change that yields the most substantial results.

Set aside some time every day to practice relaxation. This will let you become relaxed when you are feeling at your most tense and nervous around people.

The Worst Shyness Advice in The World

Here are 5 of the worst pieces of advice

1. Focusing On Other People

It’s a piece of advice that sounds great on the surface … to people who have never had shyness.

If overcoming shyness was as simple as telling someone to “focus more on other people,” then nobody would be shy. The advice is simply not SPECIFIC enough to be helpful to the average shy person. 

2. Rehearse What to Say

If you want to sound like a robot, then this would be great advice.

But for everyone else out there, rehearsing what to say is a terrible thing to do because it completely ruins your ability to talk to people naturally and spontaneously.

Preparing what to say for a job interview or a speech is normal. Rehearsing daily conversations or phone calls because you are shy is ridiculous. It turns your life into a performance, and is that really how anyone should live?

Do normal people have to rehearse their daily conversations like an actor? No, they simply talk to people. And the reason why they can talk to people easily is because their inner psychology is free of anxiety, insecurity and inhibitions, not because they have memorized the perfect “lines.”

So you need to focus on getting your inner psychology right instead of rehearsing what to say. 

3. Ask More, Talk Less

Back when I had really bad shyness, I would barely speak up and people would always call me quiet. If someone had told me back then that I should “talk less,” then I’d probably think they were crazy.

Here’s the truth: Shy people need tips for how to talk MORE, not less.

4. Affirmations

Affirmations are basically positive statements that you repeat to yourself like “I am confident and happy.” Literally hundreds of self-help books have repeatedly recommended using this technique for overcoming shyness or low self-esteem… without any scientific proof that it actually works!

In fact, every scientific study recently done on affirmations has consistently shown that they don’t work, and can even make you feel worse!

Here’s a quote from one of these studies. (Pay special attention to the parts I’ve bolded.)

Canadian researcher, Dr. Joanne Wood at the University of Waterloo and her colleagues at the University of New Brunswick who have recently published their research in the Journal of Psychological Science, concluded “repeating positive self-statements may benefit certain people, such as individuals with high self-esteem, but backfire for the very people who need them the most.”

The researchers asked people with low self-esteem to say “I am a lovable person.” They then measured the participants’ moods and their feelings about

themselves. The low-esteem group felt worse afterwards compared with others who did not. However, people with high self-esteem felt better after repeating the positive affirmation–but only slightly.

– Psychology Today

5. Just Do It!

Just like other shyness advice that sounds logical but doesn’t work, asking yourself questions like “Who cares what they think?” or “What’s the worst that can happen?” does NOTHING for making you feel less shy, nervous or anxious in social situations.

For more ideas to overcome shyness, watch this video –How to Overcome Shyness

By Sean W Cooper, the author of The Shyness and Social Anxiety System, is an ex-sufferer from social anxiety and shyness. This program is a compilation of his research and effort in overcoming shyness and anxiety.

Sean W Cooper’s Shyness and Anxiety system is a step by step audio course broken down into modules that are easy to access. It teaches you ways to start overcoming your social anxiety and self-doubt. The system utilises cognitive behavioural therapy which explores how feelings and thoughts can drive behaviour. 

The Shyness and Social Anxiety system is endorsed by professionals and praised by psychologists due to the way it provides the relevant skills to manage issues of shyness and social anxiety.

To find out more, click on Overcome Shyness – Two Easy Ways to Get Rid of Nervousness